The Lights are out Dad!
Creativity through anxiety.
Creativity through anxiety.
Bright light!
Liddy sitting up above my head quaking in terror.
What the ???
The fog of sleep lifts. My brain starts to process the situation. It was snowing when I went to sleep. I guess the power was out. It has just been restored. The surge caused the proximity switch in the closet to trigger. That’s why the light is on.
Liddy is a shivering mess because while the power was out, the Uninterruptable Power Supplies (UPS) that protect our computers and other electronics would be alarming. They put out a high frequency shriek that I can sometimes hear if I have my hearing aids in and am sitting on the damn things.
Poor dog is freaking out and doesn’t know what to do.
I pull her in close. Make her feel protected. She did good.
I’m stroking her head and whispering to her.
Through the constant buzz in my ears, I hear this irregular thump… thump thump… thump thump… thump. Is this her? No, it’s me. I’m hearing my own heartbeat. My heart is doing its normal irregular beat.
Continuing to console Liddy, my mind wanders off to other things. Triggered by the reminder of my mortality, the path it takes is through thoughts I would rather not think about anytime, let alone in the wee hours of the morning.
I spend some time comforting Liddy. Bringing her anxiety levels down from a ten to a two. Finally, I get up to relieve myself. She follows me into the bathroom. Together we climb back into bed. She assumes her normal position near my feet. Good — her anxiety controlled.
Now it’s my turn. I can’t go back to sleep. My mind is in full tech mode now. Check the house alarm log to find the power failed at 3:29 and was restored at 3:35. It’s now 5:00. I’m going to be a wreck in the morning — oh yeah — it is the morning.
I go downstairs fetching my camera and tripod. The snow clinging to the branches of the trees outside our bathroom window is kinda cool. Like some hand reaching out of the dark. The snow back lite by a streetlight. The tree branch centered in the snowy fingers like some kind of bone or blood vessel. Definitely cool.
I’m relaxed now. The exercise in creativity has brought my anxiety level down. I go back to bed. I go back to sleep for another few hours.