But It’s a Close Shave
Obsessing over razor blades
Obsessing over razor blades
Last Sunday was Father’s Day. As my Dad’s been gone for a number of years now, I don’t rate the day too highly. My Dad, yes. Father’s Day, not so much.
Anyway, I took the trouble to shave, shower and trim my nails. It was Father’s Day after all. My children are in Europe this month, but I thought I should clean up and look presentable for my wife at least. We might even go out on the town.
Shaving is not my favourite thing. Harvesting my facial hair is one of the less rewarding morning rituals in my opinion. Now that I am working from home (can you say retired?) I can forgo the joy of scraping my cheeks if I choose.
Last year I got a haircut. Maybe it was two haircuts. I don’t remember, but I do remember not being satisfied with the result. I don’t suffer from male pattern baldness. I still have hair on the top of my head. If I got it, I should flaunt it… right?
I let my hair grow out.
My appearance morphed into the old man of the mountain. Silver-blonde hair, silver-grey beard. I was accused of auditioning for Santa Claus.
I digress. We were discussing the merits of shaving. As I have stated, in my opinion, shaving is a highly overrated task.
So, wear a beard.
The trouble is a beard still needs to be maintained. Once desired bushyness has been achieved, you must trim it to maintain that bushyness. Being the economical guy that I am, I don’t like to spend time doing things that don’t bring me pleasure. Personal grooming is an activity that must be done, but keep it simple and quick. How a body can spend the time to maintain a goatee or handlebars is beyond me.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy cleaning up, dressing up, and stepping out for some occasions. The trouble is, at my age, that occasion is usually some acquaintance’s funeral.
If I am going to wear a beard, then it has to be cared for. I don’t want to look like that guy who just came out of the bush carrying a banjo. My beard must be combed, sculpted, and futzed with. Pain in the neck, especially if I nick that neck with the grooming device.
This spring, I hadn’t quite reached the full Santa look but I had reached the point where the hair looks like shit, is always in the eyes, and needs major work. I would need to find a stylist.
Shaving. We were talking about shaving. Well, I went to trim my beard and being an old crow, was distracted by some stray thought. I put a 2mm comb on the trimmer instead of the 7mm one. The first stroke under my chin and I realized the stylist wouldn’t be needed.
Cleaned off the beard. Visited a barber. Looking ten, well maybe five years younger. Maybe a good thing.
I mentioned I think of myself as a frugal guy. My economical self is attracted to the electric razor. The act of tossing a spent razor blade into the trash offends me.
I have a love-hate relationship with my Phillips. It will do an OK job provided I use it every day. And there’s the rub. I don’t like to use it every day, or every other day for that matter.
I find the morning ritual of exfoliating my chin a pain in the… well, the chin. Wasn’t so bad when I was a young gaffer with smooth handsome cheeks. Not so much now that time has introduced facial potholes. Little divots and ditches (not wrinkles mind) where the hair likes to hide like weeds in the road. With the electric razor, I frequently find myself picking up my Gillette to catch a few stray bits of stubble.
A few weeks ago, I waved the white flag of shaving soap over my face and surrendered to that devil, Gillette. Felt nice. Smooth. Skin felt fresh. Yep, this is why dragging a deadly weapon across my face is the preferred method of exfoliation.
Next visit to Costco, I purchased shaving cream for the first time in a decade. I also purchased a six-month supply of replacement blades . Well, maybe a year. (Retired remember.)
OK then Gillette, I have your razor handle, I have your blades, I have your cream. All set then. Nope! These suckers don’t fit my handle. What the heck Gillette? I have two of these perfectly fine Mach Fusion things and your Mach Turbo blades don’t fit. That’s a nuisance.
Back to Costco — a couple of other shops as well. Do you think I can find a handle for these new blades? Nope. Gillette is telling me that I should buy the new and improved Proglide Plus. Have no idea what the improvements are. Packaging is similar. The handle is similar. The blades are similar. What improvements? Oh yeah, improvements to your bottom line. This is bare-faced robbery.
OK, how about the Harry’s shavers? Costco carries them. Maybe I should give them a try. Thirteen blades and handle for a whopping half-cent less per blade than the Mach 3 Turbo without a handle. A stunning savings right?
I did mention that I am a frugal retired person, didn’t I?
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